The Unnofficial FanFiction Talk Show
by Chewy14
Summary: Funny, random, and doesn't actually make much sense! Humoring story where I go and bring random story characters onto a talk show. Watch out because most don't cooraperate!


The Unofficial FanFiction Talk Show

Chapter 1: Pilot

I brushed a long chocolate brown curl out of my face and tucked the bunch behind my ear. I looked closely at the papers in front of me on the smooth light wood desk. The packet held what today's show would hold. Shifting in the extremely comfortable white fluffy chair I was in, I looked up and around. Beside the wooden desk I was at sat a long white nice couch then next to that a small white arm chair. The desk and chairs lines in a semi circle out to the audience. The audience sat in rows of black seats that stood not far in front of me up in a bleacher formation. Already people were filling in the seats while quietly chatting to each other excitedly.

I scanned the room some more. The walls are black in the audience area with black carpeted floor, and then the floor is raised up where I am as millions of lights shine down. My area had a light blue carpet and then a sea foam green wall, and then behind me stood instead of a large wall a large glass window with an overview of anything I created. Tonight it was an overlook of New York City skyline at night.

The camera crew began to get the cameras ready which all stood on the black carpet area. They began to motion to me that the show was about to begin. I started fixing my hair up with only a few seconds more till air time. Then I folded my hands in front of me on the desk, cocked my head, and smiled. One of the crew members started counting down his fingers. 5...4...3...2...1... "Hello all you readers out there and welcome to the first airing of The Unofficial FanFiction Talk Show!" The crowd cheered and clapped excitedly. "

And I'm your host Chewy! Now before I bring in the guests tonight I'm going to get this out of the way." I then look straight into the cameras so to the readers I'm technically looking at you (creepy right?). I give a smile and say in one of those stupid happy operating systems voices, "**_I do not own any of the characters that will be guest staring in this episode. All the rights for these characters go to their owners. Nickelodeon, the producers of Vampires Suck, and the makers of Tom and Jerry own these characters individually_**." I go back to my calm relaxed smile and look away from the camera, so yes all you readers you can stop holding your breath. I'm not looking STRAIGHT AT YOU anymore.

The audience clapped excitedly as my smile on my rosy checks glowed and my forest green eyes shinned. "Alright then our first guest tonight is, drum roll please!" The audience gave a drum roll along with the flickering lights and recorded tape of the drums. I joined in the drum roll and then yelled out into the audience, "And know! The first guest EVER to set foot in this story will be!" Suddenly the loudspeaker took over. The lights all shined but the colored ones shown towards the entry way left of my seat. The man on the intercom announced, "Please welcome Plankton from Nickelodeons Spongebob Squarepants!" The lights went back to normal as the crowd flipped out in excitement as the little green cartoon villain walked in through the arch and made his way over to the couch. He hoped up at the spot closet to my desk. Plankton smiles evilly waving out to the audience which clapping roars were dying down. I turn myself sideways so I'm facing him directly. "So Plankton! Thanks for coming tonight."

"Well technically speaking I couldn't miss a chance to try out my new ray gun!" Plankton whips out, impossibly fast, a giant blue and white ray gun and starts laughing insanely. The crowd freaks out a bit ducking so they won't get hurt. My face drops to a boredom look as I glare at the stupid little thing. "Seriously? I didn't even ask you any questions yet!" The little villain looks at me. "Well it is an opportunity I couldn't miss." He starts laughing again and I sigh. "For the love of vampires…" I lift my right hand up and snap. Suddenly Plankton is consumed by a cloud of smoke. The audience gasps and whispers confused. The cloud then clears to see Plankton a shiny bright color of hot pink. The audience bursts out laughing. "WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU STUPID HUMANS-" He looks down at himself and sees his skin transformation. "AH!" Plankton flips out, drops his ray gun, and runs out of the room. I smile as the audience claps. I clasp my hands together again. "Alright then! Obviously that sea creature needs to stay under water." The audience laughs slightly. "So now we'll move on to the next guest..." I wait a few seconds but hear nothing. I frown and say impatiently, "I said AND OUR NEXT-!"

"OH! Sorry!" The loudspeaker springs back to life. I roll my eyes. "And now please welcome the second guest tonight Victoria from the movie Vampire's Suck!" The audience claps and cheers, but no one comes through the door. "Uh I said Victoria from-" Suddenly something slams onto my desk. I jumped a little and looked up. Standing on my desk peering down on me stood Victoria. I relaxed and smiled. "Well nice to see you decided to drop in Vick. Please take a seat." But she didn't. She stood there and smiled evilly down at me. My stomach flopped a bit. "Oh you've got to be kidding me." She smiled and then James landed down behind her on the carpet. I shrunk back a bit. "Uh…hi?" Victoria and James smiled and then lunged at me teeth bared. "EEP!" I screamed as I dodged behind the couch as they knocked over my desk. The audience screams and panics frantically running around. I moan annoyed as I stay crouched behind the long couch. "Great now wha-" James jumped in front of me. I yelped. "You look yummy." I stood up and scrambled over the couch moving as quickly as I could. I rolled off the couch and found myself at the feet of Victoria and somehow James as well. I close my eyes and quickly snap my fingers praying it will work. I then heard freaked hisses of the couple. I opened my eyes to see them backing away from me. I look around and smile glad to see what I did worked. I am now in a giant hamster ball that shouldn't be able to be penetrated.

I laugh. "What scared of giant rodent toys?" I rolled the plastic ball forward at them, and they scrambled away in fear. "Get away you stupid human!" Victoria cried angrily. I just laughed as I herded them around the dais towards the door. I was just about to head them out when they both turned around and jumped onto my plastic force field. I fell down onto the bottom of the hamster ball and watched in horror as they tried to rip open the door. Scrambling around I tried to run the other way to shake them off. The plastic didn't budge as a clawing sound came behind me. I turned around to see the door open. I backed up against the edge of the ball. "No, no, no, no…" I whispered desperately. They simply laughed closing in on me. Concentrating I closed my eyes and snapped my fingers one last time. Then it was quiet.

I opened my eyes to see a confused seated audience and to find me sitting at my desk in the now completely clean platform area. I smiled and clasped my hands together as if nothing had happened. "Well looks like that didn't go to well." The audience slightly frightened frantically looked around for the two vampires. I rolled my eyes and sighed. _Oh I officially fail at talk shows. _

"And now for the final guest of the night!" The loudspeaker took over again. And the audience calmed down a bit. "Please welcome Tom and Jerry from ah...Tom and Jerry!" The audience clap appreciated for final normal guests. Just then the little brown cartoon mouse ran out. Then following him was a ruthless black and white carton cat with a fly swatter. Tom chased Jerry on top of the platform trying to smack him. I sighed. Got up, and walked out in front of my desk. I snapped my fingers and I popped into an animated character myself. I then brought out a giant hammer and as Tom ran around again, in a cartoon like style, I lifted the hammer and smacked him into the ground. Jerry then stopped and laughed in a cute little mouse laugh. I smiled and rested the hammer on my shoulder. Jerry ran over to me and I lifted him up onto my shoulder. We both laughed along with the audience at the silly cat that was now planted into the floor.

I laugh. "Well thanks for watching or uh…reading!" I look straight at the readers (yes again) and wink. "Bye ya'll!"

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Well that's it! Um…did I do well? Or uh...write…good? Lol fail grammar. ANYWAY thanks for reading! Please go review, and if I made any typos or errors please tell me and I'll fix them ASAP. I double checked my work but I may have missed something. And personally I'm not sure if this story is as good or funny as my other one, but tell me what you think. Please go review and tell me if this story is a keeper!


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